I just need to get it off my chest.............
My mantra in life is "Life IS Good!" Bill and I have lived and continue to live a very blessed life. We are very fortunate to enjoy good health, a wonderful home, the financial means of going to the grocery store or obtaining medical care when necessary. We have enjoyed the pleasures of traveling both stateside and abroad. We have life experiences that many do not. We are best friends and enjoy an evening cocktail on the deck together every chance we can. We work hard. We play hard. We have made sacrifices for our life that many are not willing to make. We have endured hardships that break many people, let alone marriages and came out on the other end even more committed as a team together in this game called "Life". But sometimes. Sometimes other people. Just need to, well, they ain't worth the oxygen they use.
Many of you know that Bill and I still own property in Pinedale with a building project on it. We went back for the weekend to do some maintenance and just basically be "responsible" property owners. I handled being there much better than I thought I would. I didn't get physically ill one time. That's a first in several years.
I know the neighbors don't like looking at an unfinished project. I know the neighbors hate me. I know that they blame Bill and I (mostly me) for their property values going down even though the whole economy went down. I know the neighbors want something done. No one knows the financial, mental and physical anguish this whole ordeal has been for both of us both individually and as a couple. I know the neighbors think we should be putting every last resource we have into this project. I know my neighbors want us completely out of the neighborhood. I know I am viewed as Trash. This project made me feel run out of town 4 years ago......................
New neighbors whom we've not met in the neighborhood were friendly enough to wave to us. That was nice. We even visited a few minutes with one set of neighbors that have been good friends with us for many years.
I'm OK learning through the grapevine we no longer have a Realtor, after all, this is not exactly a prize listing. I'm even OK with the Jack-ass that drove by stopping every so many feet staring that refused to wave - even though I gave him a friendly wave - twice. Grow some cahouna's........ You are welcome to come visit - you don't 'spy' well. I'm even OK knowing that at least one neighbor calls the Committee regularly to complain. I'm sorry. I want someone to do something with this project also, but simply put, we do not have the mental energy to do anything more than simply sell it. It is simply not good stewardship of our resources to put more in. We can't. We won't.
I felt good about what we accomplished around the place over the weekend. I felt like maybe, just maybe, what we did would be viewed as good will to the neighborhood. I felt like maybe some of the animosity toward us might have even dissipated a little with the passing of time.
But as we were leaving I found vandalism. That dreaded funk that I had avoided all weekend enveloped me. I felt beat down. I felt as beat down as I did when this project was unraveling before my eyes. I felt my hands tied all over again. I felt my stomach knot up. I felt attacked once again. I felt helpless. I felt as violated as I did when I counted up the financial damage when the decision to hire an attorney was made. I felt kicked just like I did the day we found out our attorney had gotten the case dismissed and didn't bother to tell us. I felt as belittled as I did when we realized NO attorney would talk to us.
I felt. beat. d-o-w-n. I did NOT, however, puke. Not one time.
SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(also known as change the subject)
Today I pull myself up by the boot-straps and cow-girl up as they say. Today I am working at my desk in my beautiful home of which I am happy in and love in South Dakota. Today I continue to battle forward. Today I remember all the blessing I have and enjoy daily. Today I am thankful for the full life I enjoy. Today I go back to working out details of our next great adventure.
Today, Life. Is. Good.
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